Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize