I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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