Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
