Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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