Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
