DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
