Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
