so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
