My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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