We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
