would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
