Im at strip club and am horny
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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