Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
