The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just want nice things and good sex
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
