Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
