he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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