I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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