Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
