im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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