There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Boobs are out for the taking
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
