My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
