fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
