apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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