you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize