I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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