Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
