He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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