He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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