Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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