well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
