I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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