I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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