No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
