Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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