it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
