also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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