Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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