It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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