he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
