Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
