Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
