He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
