Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
