I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
