no, he came in my armpit
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
