so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize