I am puke
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
did i just pee glitter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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