How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
