I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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