tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
