420 ftw
kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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