People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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