If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
