dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
