i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
