Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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