just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
