I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
