Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
