Whod you bang
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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