Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Green mimosas i think yes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
