I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
