I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
