Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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