you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
